I came across an article by Mark Manson that I find really good! This article eventually became a full-fledged book! It’s about why we should stop caring about things that don’t matter. Be warned that there’s more than 100 F-word in this short article. I for one doesn’t like the F-word but in this article, it just came across funny rather than rude or annoying. I found myself laughing throughout. Lol!
Here are the important lessons to learn from his article. If you want to avoid his F-bombs, then read this. I picked out the important points and edited out/ replaced the F-words.
Hope you’ll enjoy this F-free, shorter version of the article.
Not giving a duck = I don’t care!
#1 “I DON’T CARE!” DOES NOT MEAN BEING INDIFFERENT; IT MEANS BEING COMFORTABLE WITH BEING DIFFERENT
When most people envision not caring about whatsoever, they envision a kind of perfect and serene indifference to everything, a calm that weathers all storms.
This is misguided. There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they actually care too much. They are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they make none.
The people who don’t care about adversity or failure or embarrassing themselves or shitting the bed a few times. The people who just laugh and then do it anyway. Because they know it’s right. They know it’s more important than them and their own feelings and their own pride and their own needs. They say “Who cares?!” not to everything in life, but rather they say “Who cares?!” to everything unimportant in life. They reserve their cares for what truly matters. Friends. Family. Purpose. Burritos. And an occasional lawsuit or two. And because of that, because they reserve their cares for only the big things, the important things, people who care about them in return.
#2 TO GO “I DON’T CARE!” ABOUT ADVERSITY, YOU MUST FIRST CARE ABOUT SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN ADVERSITY
A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.
– Eric Hoffer
If you find yourself consistently caring about trivial shit that bothers you — your ex-girlfriend’s new Facebook picture, how quickly the batteries die in the TV remote, missing out on yet another 2-for-1 sale on hand sanitizer — chances are you don’t have much going on in your life to legitimate care about. And that’s your real problem. Not the hand sanitizer.
In life, our care must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as “I don’t care!”. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our care. You only get a limited number of care to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care.
#3 WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF CARE TO GIVE; PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE AND WHO YOU GIVE THEM TO
When we’re young, we have tons of energy. Everything is new and exciting. And everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we care a lot. We care about everything and everyone — about what people are saying about us, about whether that cute boy/girl called us back or not, about whether our socks match or not or what color our birthday balloon is.
As we get older, we gain experience and begin to notice that most of these things have little lasting impact on our lives. Those people’s opinions we cared about so much before have long been removed from our lives. We’ve found the love we need and so those embarrassing romantic rejections cease to mean much anymore. We realize how little people pay attention to the superficial details about us and we focus on doing things more for ourselves rather than for others.
Essentially, we become more selective about the care we’re willing to give. This is something called ‘maturity.’ It’s nice, you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only care about what’s truly care worthy.