DAY 70 – Keep With You Only What Matters

The other day, as I was browsing my Facebook newsfeed, I came across this post and had a good laugh.

The first thing that came to my mind was “Oh wow… I’m definitely the Queen of Sluts.”

I did a little Googling and found out indeed the first definition for slut is “a woman of dirty, slovenly, or untidy habits or appearance; a foul slattern”. The word ‘slut’ back then had no sexual connotation.

Even though I found it funny, I also found myself letting out a heavy sigh. I have been trying to get rid of my own ‘sluttiness’ for the longest time with very little success. My room (and workplace) looks like a dump site. I am not kidding you. If I have the guts and thicker skin, I would have taken a photo of my room and shown it to you.

I always joke that the safest place in the whole house is my room. If an intruder tries to get me, he’ll have to get past all my stuff first without tripping over. The kids love to go into my room. It’s like a treasure trove for them because they find all sorts of stuff in there.

My workplaces had always been messy. Just ask my ex-colleagues. If you ever need to know where’s my cubicle, just go straight to the messiest one!

The personal spaces I spend a lot of time in are always messy. Except for my car. A guy friend once told me I have the tidiest car he’s ever seen for a girl. Lol.

Earlier this year, I discovered Marie Kondo and the minimalistic lifestyle. I may not necessarily agree with everything or want to become a minimalist but I absolutely agree with the philosophy behind it.

I don’t know about others but to me, the thing about minimalism is that it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing approach. What you want to achieve out of it depends on each individual and what you find important.

It’s about living your best life. And being intentional about it—the things you do, the things you own, the way you think and feel, and the people you spend time with. It’s about letting go of the things that don’t matter so you can invest more on the things that do.

I have tried to declutter my material possessions for years. And I have indeed given away a tonne of stuff. The problem is I still hold on to too much and I still buy things I don’t really need or really, really want.

Decluttering your material things is only half the battle. The other half is reconditioning your brain to not want everything nice that you walk by in a store or you see online. No point getting rid of things just to replace it with other useless things. I have controlled my urge to spend quite a bit. Not as bad as it used to be but it can definitely be better.

Then there’s the hardest part, the emotional decluttering.

Learning to say no to things I don’t want to do and not feel guilty about it. Setting healthy boundaries. Reminding myself that I am not responsible for other people’s happiness and other people are not responsible for my own happiness. Letting go of any resentment and bitterness. Learning to be more selective and conscious of the things I feed my eyes, ears, mind and spirit. Not to mention what I feed my body.

I still have a long way to go but hey, everyone has to start somewhere.

And I shall start with my room this weekend!

*I can’t believe this is already my 70th blog post since I started my 365-day blog challenge. I remember feeling super accomplished when I successfully published my 7th blog post. Now, look at how far we’ve come!*

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